Questions without answers...I'm tired of asking.

[albamarie]

My h told a coach that he was sneaking around with EA and it felt free, his face looked relaxed and he was smiling as he spoke. Once I knew all he wanted me to do was let him go, say sure here's a suitcase.

Coach said why didn't you just leave. You could have gone. H began to turn his head away as he said the is a level of care for my wife too.

IF H stays I will never trust that he is not talking to her, if he leaves I WILL trust that he is on a journey nowhere and that he may "try" to come back or disappear for good.

Either way it sounds like mistrust and emptiness for me. It also sound like a life without what I want out of a R, what about my needs? H kept saying he can go back to who he was, coach and I both said, that's not possible. But, he can become a good loving H And father while moving forward.

I behave zero faith in any of that. Why am I sooooo intent on never being able to see a R that would be satisfying for me? Am I stubborn, hurt, or do I know something I don't know yet.