Your 5 point response was great - if you're a lawyer.
One of the things that has resulted in drastic changes in me (although I'm still far from perfect) was that I stopped making excuses or explanations, but simply took it and went and thought about it. W would make drastic accusations such as "You never spend any time with me." Obviously this isn't true, and I could've made a list of 27 dates or nice things I did. But if W REALLY thinks that, then there must be some reason. Either she's completely crazy, or perhaps there is some specific TYPE of time that she needs.
Just an example, but even when I thought about something and still disagreed I was able to approach it calmly. At the very least, even if I'm furious, I'm able to say to W, "That really stinks. I'm sorry that bothers you so much." Again, I still mess up, it takes awhile to break bad habits!
