Yes it is very unfair, but it is what it is. You have to find a way to accept where you guys are right now, and make it work for you. You do this by staying off the H crazy train!
Make any changes you can, to be happy with your new life. Live for you and be yourself. Your new self. Don't waiver. Let him figure himself out. This will take PLENTY of time, so relax and enjoy the ride.
I've been doing the stay connected/give space dance with W for over a year and a half now. If she engages with me, great, I'm there for her. If she's cool and distant, I find my own stuff to do. Seems to be working for us.
You don't want to leave him feeling ignored, (why would he want you if you don't care or you act done?) and you don't want to smother him. (He won't like you chasing him... he's done, remember?) Dance On!
M: A really long time. Crisis: 5 years. She's still worth it.
Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose. -Viktor Frankl
