My Story - Need Help... Is there hope?

[truelovewaits]

Hey Community,

I do need help. More like support. Since my last post, I constantly think of her. I know my love for her continues from a far but my thoughts lately have been only of her. Day and night they continue.

I wonder does she think of me? Clearly it isn't enough of a thought to motivate any action. I wonder how that is possible? Is the other man that much better? Why did she rewrite our history? Will she ever see the truth?

More and more I find that every new event and good time is not as satisfying as I want it to be. It would be better shared, with her. My thoughts lately are like this often not when I'm alone - although when I am they are often of her - but rather when I am having a great time that I feel she would enjoy.

I regret getting angry and how I reacted to our situation as I violated the 37 steps and DB ideals. As Sandi and many others have said I just want to do, do, do something. I realize that I can't, I guess I just really miss her and really regret my part in all of this. The distance and the way we handled things caused this. I wish she told me that anything was wrong, I wish I had the opportunity to attempt to fix anything, to go to therapy.

I work on myself and continue to gain strength. I find it interesting that I often awaken with her as the very first thought on my mind lately.

I still hope that she will one day call. We are now divorced though and there hasn't been any contact. I'm GAL but I'm also tormented by all of this. I love her so much still, and I'd truly to anything to have a chance. I do just want her to be happy and I know this new life and new man must be fulfilling that. Still, I also do believe that we could have provided that. I left things though in a state that was the opposite, I begged, argued, etc., and helped drive her away.

I've been looking over the boards but I have not been able to find a similar situation of success. Are there any for men who have lost their wives? After the divorce is final?

For those that have been through this type of pain and situation. How do you move forward when the past continues to haunt you? How do you stop loving her? Do you give up?