Newcomer's brief summary

[doubledown]

Thanks for your valuable thoughts, TT. I really appreciate you keeping in touch with me and my sitch.

I feel good about what you said regarding how the time frame can work and reinforcing that I should maintain my efforts and focus more long term, 6 mos to a year. That makes sense. My W is experiencing alot of change right now with leaving her old job and beginning her new one. Even though I know she is still sneaking time to see the OM, at least their time together has been reduced significantly.

I'm greatful to LTH for her willingness to share her perspective with me from the side of the WAS. That is invaluable! She has been very encouraging as well, and I will follow her advice.

This weekend was pretty good. We had our nephew spend the night with our boys here and they all had a blast. W and I watched a movie after we put them to bed. On Sunday, we both worked outside on separate projects but interacted.

I'm realizing recently that the DB techniques are one thing, but I'm feeling very lonely. I pine for my wife's attention and time. I realize that she is not interested in me right now and it's hard to deal with. I can just imagine how the next 6 mos or a year will be with no real intimacy or quality time with W will be.

I think I've got the 180's down and I'm maintaining a pretty good positive attitude, but I think I made my first backslide this weekend. Dang it!

I got home Friday evening around 5:45. My W is supposed to pick up the kids from after care at school at around 5:30. Well, it was just after 6:00 and they were not home, so I called her. The phone rang and rang with no answer. I kept trying, but no answer. She finally answered and told me she had stopped at a store on the way home and left her phone in the car. When she got home she mentioned that I seemed a little overzealous about her whereabouts and shouldn't be so concerned about where she is every 15 minutes.

Well, these days I am very curious where she is. I guess I need to work on that. Anyway, we continued to talk about it and she began to get bothered by my "prying".

So, I asked her if she would do me a favor. She said yes? I said: "can you help me understand what it is that bothered you so much about this evening"? She told me that it was my need to always know where she is and what she's doing. If she stops for 15 minutes, I need to know! Etc. I thanked her for helping me understand her concerns and stated that I will no longer do that.

I realize that only the guilty have a problem with being questioned. Apparently, she's fogged out of her mind on that one!

So, my next 180 is to not ask any questions regarding her whereabouts. What do you think?