This has been the most up and down day. W talks about us going to church together, then says she wants divorce, then tells me that there is no rush on divorce, etc.
This has been the most up and down WEEK in this saga going back to early June.
It struck me today that I had slowly been working my way toward confidence, manliness, being kind but strong - and when W came on this past Monday and was all gushing love, I fell apart, and got back into some of the begging and bugging.
So, I like to review. Lesson 1, I stayed very dim, and it drew W in immensely. I became very bright, and pushed her away. Lesson learned, and a 2x4 to myself for ignoring that most basic principle
I'm going back starting tomorrow to the very dim - completely dark unless I have to talk to W about the divorce paperwork, but I can stall that awhile too.
I did tell W tonight I would do no more talking about divorce or relationships unless it was in person. She is a texting fiend, and I just won't do it anymore. We aren't 13. Also, she uses it to hide behind because she knows she's doing wrong, and doesn't like to look me in the eye.
I even asked a couple of friends to keep me accountable - I have two friends that I talk to; in keeping with the rules here of not going to family and friends.
