No R talks but still kinda quiet together. Much less tension in the air though… I’ve learned that she’s gonna do what she wants to do, so I no longer worry so much about what I say or do. Just be my normal self and do/say what I want. if she wants to connect, great, I’m there. If she’s withdrawn into her own MLC world, that’s ok too, I leave her to it and don’t try to fix things/make her happy. That used to be my job it seems.
When we got there we learned Dad went to the Tractor show the day before, and so now didn’t want to go again with us! We thought the plan was for us 3 to go together. This sent W into an immediate bad place. She told me “I don’t know if you can tell, but I’m really aggravated right now." I said “Oh, I can tell” and left it at that! Not my problem to fix.
So, while W laid on the bed having a pity party, Dad and I got on to conversing. I told him the miscommunication regarding the show was not a problem. We were just happy to spend some time with him.
He made mention of “Is W really tired” and “Does she ever get really mean and bite someone’s head off?... That’s what her Mom used to do!” I avoided commenting too much on this, and instead kept the conversation pleasant.
Later, I helped Dad put up a beam in one of the rooms. We got along well and he was appreciative. Dad actually lives near us, but visits this out of state property every other week or so throughout the summer… and begs the kids to come up and spend some time with him, so W and I were both glad we did.
Before bed, W and I played 3 games of chess… it was actually fun!
On the way home we visited W’s aunt, to drop off a basket of veggies from Dad’s gardens. Here we had a very pleasant time, and I was even able to make W laugh at a few of my jokes! Not an easy feat since she's been in crisis. Aunt really likes me, and who could blame her! We really need to visit her a little more often.
Oh, and sorry to say RL, but the sleeping arrangements were tough. W and I ended up sharing a small cot for a few hours, trying not to touch each other. Thankfully, Dad always leaves for home around 1-2 am, and then I was able to jump ship into his bed. We slept well after that.
M: A really long time. Crisis: 5 years. She's still worth it.
Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose. -Viktor Frankl
We really need to visit her a little more often.
