Ground zero, new chapter, new page whatever you want to call it. I've moved to my apartment in colorado springs. I'm now 5 minutes from my kids when they are with stbxw, and I am an hour away from work, a little bit more because the train stops A LOT... oh well, The first week in my new place I had my kiddos and they loved the place. It is small, and no airconditioning but they are happy here. Which made the week go really really good for me. Cooking for them (which I did before bomb drop) cleaning (eh, yes and no) laundry, making their lunches, doing homework with them. It was great. Today I had stbx pick them up, I was going to drop them off at her "place" but she was gone so I got to spend 4 more hours with them. My parents came down and hung out with us for a while and that was great. I am not looking forward to monday and the rest of the week.
1. I am going to have to wake up early so I am going to be working out. I have the last 25lbs to loose and I want to do it in the next two to three months.
2. I have my art work to work on and I will be finishing pieces that I started but never got around to.
3. I will completely unpack everything and get these boxes broken down. I will make this small ass apartment mine and not just a place I come to sleep.
I have been thinking a lot about forgiveness and what that means. I have to let go of her in order for me to forgive her. If I don't let go I will always look to the past and what she did to me. I will play "what if" for a long time and never heal. I know I can forgive her. I do not want to hate her, and I don't right now. I don't want to resent her for the pain she is causing me.
I've accomplished moving, and that was my status quo. I can maintain my sanity.
Me 32 W 30 Married 11 D10, S6 BD#1 January of 09 OM#1 2005 OM#2 Dec 08 OM#3 March/April of 09 Back together August 09 OM#4 May 13 W moves out June 2013 BD#2 June 21 2013 Filed July 2013 D final in Oct
