And def let D pick out something she wants to do, in fact sit down at the computer and let her go crazy, within reason. You might find out some things about your D you didn't know before.
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss
A week in the Big Apple with bug, now that would be cool...
Originally Posted By: labug
And def let D pick out something she wants to do, in fact sit down at the computer and let her go crazy, within reason. You might find out some things about your D you didn't know before.
I guess the sarcasm did not relate in my post. Those are all the things my D wants to do and as it so happens I am extremely cool with. She wants to dance on the giant piano thingy at Macy's. I think she wants to see Spiderman (I just want to see a show) on broadway. The ice skating well i'll prolly wind up in the ER, but hey I'll try it.
Still not much happening here, I did a decent size landscape project yesterday. Usually there is two of us doing it but it was all on me. Took longer than I expected however it is done and looks nice.
You can not change your past, but you can ruin a perfectly good present by worrying about the future.
My ex's sister lived in another state and I was worried that after the D, she would move closer to her sister and I would lose the ability to see them. I had a radius clause placed into the agreement that, although might be tough in court, ensured to keep the kids close to me. So far, 3 years later, they are 12 minutes away.
You may not believe this broba, but, my X called the police on me 3 times for bs trying to either get me thrown out of our house or to force me to bring the kids back from a playdate. All failed. However, today, my XW and I can sit at a table together or, let her put my name down as a reference for a job application (you don't want your ex to fail as much as many in the death throes of divorce feel when they are here).
Time....is what you need...although I know it goes very slowly now. Build a new life, as painful as it can be sometimes. It WILL get better. Get the D done.
Finally, I may be wrong, but there are times when I think my ex thinks she made a mistake, but don't waste time hoping for that. Don't wait for the ship to come in. Row out to meet it. FIB
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
Not really bug, I have a tendency to throw ideas out there and say something to the effect "wouldn't you love to do that". I need to be mindful of what she truly wants to do. I def. know Macy's and pretty sure on the broadway show. I do appreciate the U- turn back to the reality that is me. I will try to let her dream and plan without my "guidance".
Originally Posted By: faithisbelieving
You may not believe this broba, but, my X called the police on me 3 times for bs trying to either get me thrown out of our house or to force me to bring the kids back from a playdate. All failed.
Wow!! that must have been difficult to live through. I am happy to hear that you have forgiven, how monumental was that to accomplish?
Originally Posted By: faithisbelieving
Time....is what you need...although I know it goes very slowly now. Build a new life, as painful as it can be sometimes. It WILL get better. Get the D done.
Thank you for the encouragement. The D was final on the 20th of last month. I do not know what lies in our future however I feel like God is not done with us yet. I am going to move forward with my life and let whatever happens unfold. I will be okay no matter what.
Originally Posted By: faithisbelieving
Finally, I may be wrong, but there are times when I think my ex thinks she made a mistake, but don't waste time hoping for that. Don't wait for the ship to come in. Row out to meet it.
Well my ego would love to hear that, me heart would love to hear that she is okay and not going to self destruct with bad or risky behavior. I want the eventual outcome for her to be good, with or without me. Like you said I need time and space for me to heal.
You can not change your past, but you can ruin a perfectly good present by worrying about the future.
Uh oh.. I'm not sure. I think it's the piano in the movie Big with Tom Hanks. Well pretty sure any way. I guess I need to verify what she wants. Thanks fig., that could have been a cluster foxtrot.
I just want to say I walked in Central Park, yep a little bit country here so...
You can not change your past, but you can ruin a perfectly good present by worrying about the future.
I do not know what lies in our future however I feel like God is not done with us yet. I am going to move forward with my life and let whatever happens unfold. I will be okay no matter what.
I love this quote.
Good on you Sub. Being ok no matter what is what brings true peace and happiness in our lives.
TPS Me: 44 H: 42 M14 T17 S10 D7 10/10 H moves out after death of his father-same month 21/04/12 H is 'DONE' 04/05/12 OW/PA confirmed (rumors from 2010) July '14 H ends affair May '15 H moves back home
You may not believe this broba, but, my X called the police on me 3 times for bs trying to either get me thrown out of our house or to force me to bring the kids back from a playdate. All failed. However, today, my XW and I can sit at a table together or, let her put my name down as a reference for a job application (you don't want your ex to fail as much as many in the death throes of divorce feel when they are here).
Time....is what you need...although I know it goes very slowly now. Build a new life, as painful as it can be sometimes. It WILL get better. Get the D done.
Finally, I may be wrong, but there are times when I think my ex thinks she made a mistake, but don't waste time hoping for that. Don't wait for the ship to come in. Row out to meet it. FIB
I don't want her to fail, well most days I don't lol. I'm healing though. She is doing things that I don't agree with, and honestly if she was a decent person she wouldn't be doing. If she was a decent person we wouldn't be getting a divorce..... FIB and Subguy you both have a way of putting things that is making my ability to let go a bit easier. I know that I tend to pull it back but reading your posts is honestly helping me.
Thanks -Brobafet
Me 32 W 30 Married 11 D10, S6 BD#1 January of 09 OM#1 2005 OM#2 Dec 08 OM#3 March/April of 09 Back together August 09 OM#4 May 13 W moves out June 2013 BD#2 June 21 2013 Filed July 2013 D final in Oct
I don't want her to fail, well most days I don't lol. I'm healing though. She is doing things that I don't agree with, and honestly if she was a decent person she wouldn't be doing. If she was a decent person we wouldn't be getting a divorce.
Well, the decent person thing... you know I have to respond lol. That is subject to perception. Her perception is different than your perception, does this make her bad or not a decent person?
I heard a quote a couple of months ago and it kinda stopped me in my tracks: "Don't judge my sin just because it's different than your sin".
Allow her to be without judgement from you. That is easy to say and tough to do. At times I have to remind myself of the quote and renew my thought patterns.
Another quote this one by Ghandi:
“Your beliefs become your thoughts, Your thoughts become your words, Your words become your actions, Your actions become your habits, Your habits become your values, Your values become your destiny.”
― Mahatma Gandhi
You can not change your past, but you can ruin a perfectly good present by worrying about the future.
