Yes, I do subtly let her know, without going overboard. Doing the postmortem these past couple years, I understand something: W doesn't do "pressure" well, neither before MLC, certainly not during, and now that I realize and get this "built-in" part of her, it's a learning experience finding my way to communicating in a way that she does not perceive pressure.
And heck, I am a horrid actor, so I know she can see whatever I am feeling...she knew when I pulled away hard, she changed her actions, I changed in response, moved back towards her/us a bit, I think she can see it.
Seems like maybe she/we are at the "ground zero"...forgive the past and start anew and see what happens...idk.
I think of rH's H and the slow, slow move back....
Wonka,
What a perfect metaphor! Mentor. That, I get. And I really try hard not to fix, I see the books and stuff she has out and reading/working through. I see she is working her issues and I just am there for her, no hovering, no digging, but if needed/wanted, I'm there. Tries my patience quite often, but....that's my problem...
Quote:
When MLCers start to come out of their tunnel, it is a very sensitive and tender stage. They are emotionally fragile and very tentative. This is the MOST critical stage for standers to be more sensitive, nurturing, and supportive to the MCLer while STFU on your own pain and resentments.
and
Do mentors dump their problems, issues and hurts on their mentees? No, they don't. Right. Now this is how you will need to approach things with your W going forward as she is dancing at the tunnel's opening...but not yet fully out of it. She's comfortable at that spot for the time being. It is okay for her.
These are now being memorized...
STFU? Oh, I can do THAT, oh he!! yeah...
In the depths of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. - Albert Camus
Uncertainty is the very condition which impels people to unfold their powers.-Eric Fromm
