Have you read DR or anything about validating? I know you're new at this but this is a basic. She was having a tough time, you probably wanted to fix it, it couldn't be fixed so you were exasperated and went straight to catastrophe-If you do that we're ruined!!!!!!

Read up on validating and then come back to this.

I might have said "Honey, I see you're having a really hard time at work. That must be difficult. If I was being treated that way I would also be (insert emotion she's expressed)"

It's a skill and it takes caring for the person you're interacting with. Would you say you love your W?

Most women process things by talking about the event, we don't want you fix it or negate the importance of it, we want you to listen and hear them. Even if you don't really understand, you're showing respect to the feelings of someone going through a difficult time, not saying "you shouldn't feel that way because I wouldn't feel that way."

On the work question, I wasn't clear, I was referring to this quote:
Quote:
I was the only one working while she got her Masters, and I even helped her write papers. When she started actually working

You're now sharing in the fruits of her labors, right?

Me 57/H 58
M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13

Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do.
I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering.
Caroline Myss