The legal fight over the child abuse allegations and my FIL/MIL divorce was long over; Not my W's relationship with her dad.
My FIL's family disowned him (brothers, sisters, etc...). He was not disowned by my W.
//This ^^^ is a dangerous level of mind reading// It wasn't mind reading. My W told me she was just doing it to appease her mom. I believed her.
//You...didn't rock the boat. And wasn't that possibly At your kids expense?// Yes. This consistant behaviour was one of my biggest regrets in the marriage. I submitted to my W on almost all decisions. It was done to avoid conflict - as you put it to "not rock the boat". In this case, I had significant doubts in the back of my mind and knew that it was the wrong, cowardly thing to do, but I still submitted. My FIL was not left alone with the kids. When he babysat, my W's step mom was present. This made it easier to swallow, but it was still a big parenting mistake that I regret.
