The next time your H treats you that way tell him, "I will not be bullied. I told you I will meet with you in a few days and that is when I will meet with you." Do not leave the house and go to a hotel, if somebody has to go it should be him. He can threaten all he wants but you waiting a few days is not going to make the situation worse, maybe emotionally due to his treatment of you but not legally.
M 46 H 44 D 12 S 8 M 9 T 11 BD 2/15/13 "Makes sense to stay together" 5/12/13 Agree we are 'healing' 7/13 Definitely Piecing 9/13
I agree with Cadet and LTH I've said before about not leaving, he should be the one who leaves. Stay strong, I know it's hard but you can do it
H47 me48 T22 M21 S20 - Got high functioning autism 3/2000 H admits to OW and moves out to live with her 11/2000 H moves back home 2/4/13 H moves out H tells me he wants D 6/13, but now he can't afford to!
Well I let him get to me..... before leaving home he asked me if I had a chance to review the agreement. I responded thst I said we can tslk next weekend remember. He then says I am stalling and proceeds to tell me that he has never liked spending time with, he has not enjoyed vacations with me, and that he has never wanted to be with me.
All I can do now is cry....I am so sorry to keep writing here but how can he say these things to me?
OLD THREAD: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2380569#Post2380569
Me: 44 Him: 51 Married: 9 years Together: 14 years
they get angry with you so as to not face their guilt anger at themselves.
M48 H50 M21 T26 S20 at college),S17,D15-cp, dev. delay- cogniv 5yrs old PA confirmed 7/2012 H separates 9/2012 H move home 2/13& 7/13 lasted 2weeks.ILYNILWY OW still in picture. h filed 10/13
I don't is he was lying to me last night or everytime we were together in the past.
I have to get myself out of this situation. My emotional health cannot handle this. He will not leave, so how do I detach if he is still in the house? I will have to make myself scarce moving forward and stick to it. He wants the benefits of the home I provide..dinner, clean clothes, and a good wife, but he does not want a relationship with me.. Hard to face that.
If he is going to be here and not with his OW (which I think because he wants me to agree to everything including selling the house because he needs the equity), then I can't be around when he is here. I will no longer be available for him to abuse and hurt.
He has serious issues that he cannot face. He is narcissistic, self-absorbing, and self-obsessed, these traits I have never seen in him until now. I cannot change him.
He is dreaming of a fantasy in which he sees his life as being happier with someone who hangs on to his every word and one where is always is the "hero."...saving the day for everyone. He does not want to feel or acknowledge that he is inadequate in any fashion. This is the self-absorb alien H that I do not like.
Years ago, I had to admit my issues and sought the support of a great IC to help me face them without being fearful of what it said about me.
My H is gone.... So I have to be gone, detached, unfeeling toward him moving forward.
OLD THREAD: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2380569#Post2380569
Me: 44 Him: 51 Married: 9 years Together: 14 years
I don't is he was lying to me last night or everytime we were together in the past.
I have to get myself out of this situation. My emotional health cannot handle this. He will not leave, so how do I detach if he is still in the house? I will have to make myself scarce moving forward and stick to it. He wants the benefits of the home I provide..dinner, clean clothes, and a good wife, but he does not want a relationship with me.. Hard to face that.
If he is going to be here and not with his OW (which I think because he wants me to agree to everything including selling the house because he needs the equity), then I can't be around when he is here. I will no longer be available for him to abuse and hurt.
He has serious issues that he cannot face. He is narcissistic, self-absorbing, and self-obsessed, these traits I have never seen in him until now. I cannot change him.
He is dreaming of a fantasy in which he sees his life as being happier with someone who hangs on to his every word and one where is always is the "hero."...saving the day for everyone. He does not want to feel or acknowledge that he is inadequate in any fashion. This is the self-absorb alien H that I do not like.
Years ago, I had to admit my issues and sought the support of a great IC to help me face them without being fearful of what it said about me.
My H is gone.... So I have to be gone, detached, unfeeling toward him moving forward.
I've said before about not leaving, he should be the one who leaves. Stay strong, I know it's hard but you can do it