Wife just filed for divorce...furious and hates me

[MrBond]

""Remember that everything that you know about me is based on what I've told you."

Yes and you've explained very clearly about the things you've done. You seem to have forgotten your own stories. Look at 25yrsmlc's post above. She outlines it very well.

"The only time I have ever broken anything of hers was after I discovered her affair,"

Really? So what about her phone and I believe you said this..."With anger I don't scream or yell a lot but I break things or hit walls when I'm pissed. This is kind of rare, but it's something I still shouldn't do. "

"She is very conveniently now using the excuse that she is "afraid of me" and that this justifies all of her decisions to be unfaithful prior to me finding out about her affair and going ballistic. And yes, for the final time I am aware that my reaction to that was not appropriate and am working on this in counseling."

I don't know what you mean by "conveniently". I mean you documented pretty clearly the things you did and honestly you were lucky she stayed that long. I don't know any woman who wouldn't be afraid of you if you did those things.

"I would appreciate comments going forward that are constructive and helpful and not blaming.""

Now this part was laughable. No one "blamed" you. You detailed it all yourself. You're shifting into the area where you don't understand your W's POV. If you did, you'd show a little more humility.

But that's just my 2 cents.