Just been thinking about me. It's a hard call, but I think mentally I understand what I should/shouldn't do, how to do things/how not to, and I understand what I need to be to get through all this crap. What I am not good at, or feel comfortable with is the emotional side of me. I am a mess emotionally. I get what I need to do: move forward, let go. Accept it is the W's choice and work on me. And this is being done. Just struggle with the emotion, the tearing up when I think about her. What can I do about that? Any tips? Or am I kidding myself because the mental and emotional are all tied together, therefore mentally I am not there? Having a better day today. One of those days where you can say to yourself "I have done all I can, the best I could. May not have been right, but I tried".
ME:51 W:46 M:25 S:22, S:20 Divorced 16/9/15 BD 10/12 W left 12/12 with OW, affair confirmed Nov/12. Dark since 6/13 I"m in a new relationship since Feb 14.
HWA I know it's hard and I feel for you I struggle as well at times with my emotions and find myself welling up. As well as H, I've got the added upset of my parents at the moment. The way I cope is just to try not to think about things too deeply and get on with doing something to take my mind off it. If you have lots of low moods, have you thought of going to the doctor about them? Just my two cents worth Also I've been watching reruns of big bang theory, that cheers me up. Also putting some music on loud and singing along helps as well If you feel that mentally you're not there, I feel that you could benefit from seeing an IC. Again just my thoughts
H47 me48 T22 M21 S20 - Got high functioning autism 3/2000 H admits to OW and moves out to live with her 11/2000 H moves back home 2/4/13 H moves out H tells me he wants D 6/13, but now he can't afford to!
Thanks TTD180 for your two cents worth. A lot of the emotional lows are probably based on my location. Moving back to the city will allow me a lot more time with friends and things I want to do. Putting music on loud is something I used to love to do, but alas, with flatmates now, I have to show courtesy to them. Maybe rather than being emotional so much, maybe I am just on the downhill side and I tend to think it is more a regular thing than it probably is. Mentally I am ok, it is really just the emotional side that hurts so much. They aren't even really moods, just seeing life as it is at the time being, makes it more emotional. Seeing pictures of her, thinking about things we did, or like the other day, seeing the car she should have been driving (not the friend).
ME:51 W:46 M:25 S:22, S:20 Divorced 16/9/15 BD 10/12 W left 12/12 with OW, affair confirmed Nov/12. Dark since 6/13 I"m in a new relationship since Feb 14.
F, no. Our last session was around late June, where it was determined unless something changed we couldn't do anymore or anything different. We tried quite a few different things. In saying that, I have been thinking in the last week, to whether it is worth another session.
ME:51 W:46 M:25 S:22, S:20 Divorced 16/9/15 BD 10/12 W left 12/12 with OW, affair confirmed Nov/12. Dark since 6/13 I"m in a new relationship since Feb 14.
Hi hotwheelsaust. I was reading your posts and I am right there with you on the emotional hurt and pain. I am not sure how we are all getting through our sitch day by day, but we are here sharing our stories and our getting the much needed support and advice. I am so very grateful for the support here.
I hope you begin to feel better. I just wish there were something I could say or do to change all of our sitches.
OLD THREAD: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2380569#Post2380569
Me: 44 Him: 51 Married: 9 years Together: 14 years
Thanks TTD180 for your two cents worth. A lot of the emotional lows are probably based on my location. Moving back to the city will allow me a lot more time with friends and things I want to do. Putting music on loud is something I used to love to do, but alas, with flatmates now, I have to show courtesy to them. Maybe rather than being emotional so much, maybe I am just on the downhill side and I tend to think it is more a regular thing than it probably is. Mentally I am ok, it is really just the emotional side that hurts so much. They aren't even really moods, just seeing life as it is at the time being, makes it more emotional. Seeing pictures of her, thinking about things we did, or like the other day, seeing the car she should have been driving (not the friend).
I know how that is. I see my H on a regular bassis because of my son and sometimes it is upsetting. I start to think things are turning a corner, but then H says something and you think no they're not. Hope you start going uphill again soon
H47 me48 T22 M21 S20 - Got high functioning autism 3/2000 H admits to OW and moves out to live with her 11/2000 H moves back home 2/4/13 H moves out H tells me he wants D 6/13, but now he can't afford to!
I know you tried! You are three months into LRT/Dark and I just wondered if you are discussing this with a coach.
Originally Posted By: GALbaby
You know, sometimes you have to take that leap of faith, and nothing else has worked so its worth a try IMHO
This made me wonder! I believe you should continue to be dark. It’s not like nothing happened for three months. FB-pic-incident is still quite new! But I am still just a newbie and that’s why I asked about the coach.
Keep pushing forward! Right after a down there will be an up!
Me:44 W:43 D7, D5 (S11 from other R)
T: 8y - not M ILYB: 8. Mar 2013 W moved: 1. Aug 2013 LRT: 20. Aug 2013 _______________________________ Do or do not – there’s no try.
Thanks for joining in and your well wishes MyPain. F, I will be on holidays in two weeks and then back two weeks later. So in a month I might think about another session with the coach. The FB incident is still quite new, but I heard nothing from the W about that (apart from defriending). I suppose along the timeline of our sitch's, what we regard as being a long time, the WAS regards as being such a short time.
ME:51 W:46 M:25 S:22, S:20 Divorced 16/9/15 BD 10/12 W left 12/12 with OW, affair confirmed Nov/12. Dark since 6/13 I"m in a new relationship since Feb 14.
HWA, this year's flying by anyway! You may be right about it's only been a short time for the WAS. That's given me food for thought, I never thought about it like that before
H47 me48 T22 M21 S20 - Got high functioning autism 3/2000 H admits to OW and moves out to live with her 11/2000 H moves back home 2/4/13 H moves out H tells me he wants D 6/13, but now he can't afford to!
I struggle as well at times with my emotions and find myself welling up. As well as H, I've got the added upset of my parents at the moment. The way I cope is just to try not to think about things too deeply and get on with doing something to take my mind off it.