wife hardends heart-4

[planet]

I'm done with the court hearing. It's just a quick 10minute session. In about 3 months, we are officially divorced.
In somewhat a weird day, W started off spewing about my mom and sis. It gotten pretty bad when foul words were mentioned and something about karma. I validated her and this time I try to make things light hearted. W said my mom must be jumping for joy this morning. W kept on saying that I do not understand her feelings towards my family and after some time I told her which 'look' does she wants me to put on to convince her that I do empathize. She thought for awhile and stopped.
After the hearing, we went on to do some accounts separation. On the way there, we talked about our kids and my new start up. W said I haven't a clue about doing business to wanting to invest in it. Advising me to find a new job and I'm already doing it. I touched her arm to reassure her many times and even put arms around her shoulder. She just allows it. It's like we are friends again.
W said the D was good for me as I'm taking better care of my girls. I nodded and smiled.
She even offered to rent out the guest room to me. I said I have to think about it.
What a strange day indeed.

[JayMan]

I'm sorry for your pain, but it almost makes me laugh at how WAS will just spew and justify and do anything they can think of to try to make themselves feel better... Hang in there!

[planet]

I went to a counselling session today. It's organize by a church offering free counselling services. Boy, did I got all emotional. Sometimes, you don't really know yourself. I never thought of myself as an emotional shipwreck, literally nothing has got me feeling lost like what i'm going through these few months.
The counsellor mentioned that he's surprised by the speed of my divorce. He's intrigue by my situation where W did not ask me to leave after signing the joint petition. In fact, we still shared the same room until recently. Well, he's not alone. I'm confused as well.

[planet]

I went to church today with my parents. Imagine that, after I dunno, 15 years?
So many new faces. Many of those whom I knew were no longer there. The pastor recognized me though.
The message today was about humility. We have been bickering over petty issues which seems so irrelevant at times. It really did touched me in a way.
Got to know one chatty fellow. Nice of him to approach me. A good 2 hours spend I should say.

[planet]

I took my kids out for dinner and they start relating their day to me which happens to involve OM. This time D3 referred me as OM. I'm sure it's just a mistake but I'm pretty upset with this incident. It feels like the more they take my kids out, the more they will look like a family unit. I'm being replaced and it hurts really bad.
Am I worrying too much?

[T1000]

Of course it was a mistake!

It's easy to think about OM replacing you in the family but that won't happen the way your mind see's it. He isn't their father, you are.
I don't know if my kids have met OM but I know when they do he can't replace me in their lives. He might fill a place left empty by me but that is all.

I'm good with my kids, my W is good with our kids. We took them both out on Wednesday and it was fun but it came with all the hard work that you get when you take young kids out. OM has to cope with all that without the experience of being their father.

Keep being a good Dad and carry on your path.

[planet]

I am spending two nights with my kids while W is away on a seminar.
The first night was great as I get to share it with D4 just like before. D3 would rather sleep with MIL in another room.

[MrBond]

Have you or your W ever talked to the kids about this? I would suggest getting them C.

[planet]

I have told them I will be staying their grandparents.

[planet]

My father sent me a text saying he's glad that I'm spending 2 nights with my girls. He's hoping for more opportunities like this that will lead to reconciliation. I hate to break his heart but I'm afraid he's placing too much hope, only to be disappointed later. I just replied that I'm glad I could spend 2 nights with my kids.