Wife just filed for divorce...furious and hates me

[25yearsmlc]

My wife used to be overweight and I would get controlling with her diet. I saw her as not making an effort here. She eventually lost weight, about the time she started hanging out with her ex-boyfriend last December lol.


Why the "LOL"? I never get that. It's sarcastic and you were incredibly insensitive/hurtful to EVER mention her diet or eating or her weight. You need to know this about women NOW.

With anger I don't scream or yell a lot but I break things or hit walls when I'm pissed. This is kind of rare, but it's something I still shouldn't do.

No you should NOT.

It is scary and immature. Plus it is intimidating to her. Maybe intentionally. That's how it feels to women who are smaller and NOT "good fighters".

Sorry man, but you sound like a bully.


For example a few years ago she kept hounding me about not having my phone on me and being available to answer it.

Because she likes to be able to reach you? That was LOVING OF HER.


I got mad and said "ok" and threw my phone out the window. I did that with two separate phones, both cheap.

Gee. Good thing they were cheap...do you see what I See?

I hope so. You need to do some MAJOR WORK ON YOU

When I found out about her EA I kicked her out of the house and ripped up a few of her paintings. When I found out a few weeks later she had talked to one of these guys again after she said she wouldn't, I threw her phone in the sink and turned on the water.

WOW, I cannot believe she is an open to a recon with you as she seems.



I've never hit her though, and there was a period of several years where I broke nothing.

Please do not boast about "never" hitting her like it's an achievement....I don't know what else to say about that.

I have also sworn at her a few times during arguments, usually when I get scared and panic. A week ago when she demanded I return her car keys I shouted "F you B" and hung up the phone on her. It felt good in the moment, but anger always hurts you in the end.

IF it felt good at all, you have deeper work to do.

Get some tools for learning how mature men handle stress.

I've a woman veteran and served in war time. So has my h. Neither of us has hit anyone or destroyed property or thrown things in decades, outside of combat. Plenty of stress in our lives.

NO excuse for losing your head. Period.

It's attractive when a man is in control of HIS own emotions and supportive (not controlling or neglectful of other's...)

Make sense?

You may turn this around but it's all about YOUR CHANGES.

FROM other veterans

I will give you the advice Michele gave to me......every person is a package deal. He is a whole package....his emotional baggage, his situation, his character, his physical status, everything. And so are you. So decide if you really want this whole package.


Then......

TAke care of yourself and your self esteem. Only do that...do nothing otherwise. Watch his actions (not his words). Be loving, kind, gentle...