AnotherStander - you just described EXACTLY what happened to me about a week ago.
I can't stress enough how patience is the key. In the situation AS described above, that may be several months. Once the WAS figures things out, it's usually after destructive behavior. So, after the many months of DBing, THEN starts the work on the WAS, which will be in very stark contrast to the LBS.
One thing I knew coming in: my changes were for me, and my W would not have done ANYTHING, and I had to be prepared to be strong and weather the storm while she did what was necessary.
