What does it look like when "things sort out" to an outside observer?
Often there's some watershed moment where the WAS asks to talk to the LBS, and often that conversation will last hours and involve the WAS expressing regrets for what's happened (not guilt over causing it, but just regret that it happened) and a desire to work on things. Unfortunately I've never experienced it, but I've read plenty of threads of others who have, and that conversation usually begins what most say is the hardest work of all. Yes DB'ing seems like a long, difficult process, but from what I've heard it's a shadow of the work that goes into piecing. By the time a couple gets to piecing the LBS has spent many long months doing research, introspection, maybe counseling, etc. They have grown and changed. Meanwhile the WAS has done absolutely nothing except indulge in the ultimate acts of selfishness. Well you can imagine throwing those two together to "patch things up"! The LBS has finished their journey and the WAS's journey is just beginning. The challenge for the LBS continues to be patience, things don't go "back to normal", a new relationship and marriage has to be built all over again.
