Lifestyle changes

[25yearsmlc]

For four years I did criminal Defense for defendants. Many were sex offenders.

I DID have some truly innocent clients. Indeed, of the 6 clients I had who were innocent, ALL were accused of sex abuse
and all were in divorce courts.

However, most were factually and legally guilty. I cross examined chidren on the witness stand and gave seminars on how to do so.

I'm not really proud of being an expert on this, b/c it's a creepy topic. But I believe in our judicial system (usually) and think if we can treat molesters fairly, we can trust that our system is relatively decent for ourselves and loved ones.

SOME young kids do make up things. Maybe to please an adult, or to get attention, or b/c they come to believe things that were planted in their minds. Almost all children will focus their attention on genitalia on a doll if it is "anatomically accurate" b/c their dolls are so different. Courts now view this with little regard as a technique for determining veracity.

However At a certain age it's either the truth or an intentional lie. Some teens who don't want to move again for dad's job, or face their dad's discipline might make something up.

But when they see the damage being done and how serious it gets, they recant. AND OR they recant b/c they did not realize the dinner plate is broken if daddy leaves. Those are the saddest cases b/c the man might really have done it, but without him the whole family loses everything...

IMO
Your w's choice to deny any abuse is not that suprising but hey, did she ever invite him over? I think at at some level she did/does NOT trust him. She may not "know" why, but it's there.

The fact that the WHOLE family disowned him, speaks volumes to me. It says more than the courts treatment of victims back then.

From what I was told, there was a significant legal fight over sexual abuse allegations made by several other (female) family members. Apparently it came down to "He said / she said" and the charges were dropped.

Juries are supposed to decide whom to believe, not a DA or the police. Oh well...


She tried to adjust the custody arrangement to keep my father in law from my W and SIL and sent both kids to counseling. None of the allegations were corroborated and the custody arrangement was not adjustment.

Nearly impossible to "corrorborate," (absent intercourse and parental consent to an exam). In fact it's the least likely type of case to have corroboration and the supposed requirement is ironic to hear, and now, its false to say you have to have it.

Moving on...


My FIL's family was essentially disowned him and he has not had contact with them for years.

Disowned could be b/c the MIL poisoned everyone with her evil lies...but he never contacted them??...well THAT says something to me.

When we had kids, my MIL insisted that we did not let FIl watch our kids.

My W insists that it was all nonsense and that she was never abused.

Did your wife reach out to her dad or not? That's an issue.



I tended to believe her thinking "Why would she lie", until I had the conversation with her the other day where it was clear that she had completely suppressed the reality of us having sex in the last year. Her denials were completely sincere.

I believe you. YIKES...