I agree with you on this. The only closure I want on this is that we have successfully reconciled our M.
I just don't see that happening anytime soon. She wants to expedite the D as fast as possible. Part of me agrees with her on this. Like ripping the band-aid off quickly. The other part of me is in no hurry at all. I am not lifting a finger to help her with this. She can do all the work.
Yeah, I'm right there with you. I don't want D, but as it seems inevitable I just want W to get it over with as it's been looming large for 6+ months now. I'm only helping W to the extent that she asks for info from me.
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I told her this last week that, "although I don't want this D, I wont stand in her way if this is what she feels she needs to do".
That's the right approach to take in this sitch.
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(This D will more than likely cause us to have to sell the house and uproot the kids. This does trouble me).
I'm sorry it's coming to that, that would make things even more difficult than they already are for sure. Thankfully I'll be able to get through this without losing the house, but I will be incurring additional debt. I paid the house off a few years ago, was nice to be debt-free for a while but I'll have to take a new loan out on it to pay W back for her half of the equity.
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She is thinking of only herself right now.
Typical WAS mindset. They think they've been putting others before themselves for years and that now it's all about them. I think most of them were not as selfless as they like to think (I know my W wasn't), but that's part of the fog they're mired in.
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She says that by getting the D she is thinking about the best interest of the children. I told her that the best interest of the children would be better served by their parents working through these tough times and set that example for them.
Couldn't agree with you more. MWD talks about this in DR, she offers data and statistics explaining how bad D is on kids. But WAS's absolutely will not hear it, they convince themselves that nothing could be better for the kids. They are dead wrong. In my opinion D is completely a selfish act on the part of the WAS (except in the case of extreme abuse), it only serves their perceived desires. It's a total trainwreck for everyone else involved.
