Bklyn

[2thepoint]

Hi BK! I was stopping by to say hi but now feel compelled to comment on your prior post.

Also went to dentist with my girls and got a lecture about D5 using the pacifier at night. Does the dentist think I want her to use a pacifier at night?? Of course not. I really hate getting a talking to from people who are so quick to judge and think its oh so easy to be a mom (not just a single mom) but any mom and deal with your children non stop.

It also hurts so so bad when I feel like someone "the dentist" is saying I am a bad mom cause it just affirms what I already think, that because my H left us I am a bad mom.

OK lets look at this rationally, or not.... You are right, that bad old dentist with years of dental training and experience who knows a thing or two about oral health, really couldn't wait for you to come into the office just so they could reprimand your for forcing your daughter to use a pacifier. And gosh darn it, that very same dentist really does think that being a single mom is probably the easiest thing in the world and that you have your very own Mary Poppins to take care of the kids. And further, the dentist really does think you are a bad mom and just couldn't wait to prove the point when it was verified that your daughter still uses a pacifier.

In all seriousness, you really must stop the mind reading and ascribing motives and thoughts that others might be having. It isn't healthy. You need to start believing you are a strong and capable woman. Because you are! Just look how far you've come. But you should also not be afraid to ask for help when needed.

I read a story once about a man and his 3 kids getting on a subway car. The man took a seat and the kids were running all over the place. They were disrupting the other passengers and the father was just sitting there not even paying attention. Until one of the passengers angrily said something to the father. Something along the lines of, "Hey! Don't you see your kids are being disruptive? Why are you just sitting there, do something!" The father finally looked up and said, "I'm sorry, we are just coming back from the hospital. Their mother just died and we are headed home to make arrangements for the funeral."

Do you see how on a dime ones perceptions can completely change once more information is made available? How might your dentist have reacted if you had shared that the kids are going through a rough patch due to you and your husband splitting up. And if perhaps you asked for some guidance in how to break the pacifier habit or, if it really is that bad and can't it wait awhile longer?

Do you think the dentist might have offered some good advice? Do you think the dentist would have judged you?

I know you are going through a rough period. Just try to look at things from a different perspective and see if that doesn't help your thinking and self esteem.

((((BK)))))