Thanks for the replies everyone,

==From: AnotherStander: "I'm sure she is too. Interestingly, I was just reading an article that talked about how 70% of divorcees regret the D a year later. Obviously in your case it's your W that's pushing it through, but I don't think D will bring either of you the closure you think it will".== (I don't know how to quote very well yet)

I agree with you on this. The only closure I want on this is that we have successfully reconciled our M.

I just don't see that happening anytime soon. She wants to expedite the D as fast as possible. Part of me agrees with her on this. Like ripping the band-aid off quickly. The other part of me is in no hurry at all. I am not lifting a finger to help her with this. She can do all the work.

I told her this last week that, "although I don't want this D, I wont stand in her way if this is what she feels she needs to do". I am just not willing to help her expedite the D or help build her case against me.

She says that I am being selfish in trying to defend my rights in the D. eg. the fair and equitable division of the marital property. (This D will more than likely cause us to have to sell the house and uproot the kids. This does trouble me). I thought that her saying that was ironic. She is thinking of her herself right now. I am hopeful that IF the house does have to be sold and split up that we are both able to find homes that will provide a safe environment for the kids.

She says that by getting the D she is thinking about the best interest of the children. I told her that the best interest of the children would be better served by their parents working through these tough times and set that example for them. She says that staying together when she is "miserable" is not the example she wants to set for them.

I suppose there is truth to both points of view.

BKS


M46 W45 T12 M10 S9 D4
BD 2/13
Divorced 5/14