Well, my intentions are to help her as much as I can, explain how I feel about her, and to hopefully reconcile. I'm thinking I probably don't want to mention the last two, though, right?
You didn't answer my questions to you. How would you like it if someone you hated were to offer you financial assistance? Would you be inclined to accept it? THIS IS WHERE YOUR WIFE IS. She doesn't like you, she doesn't want your help. Quit pressuring her to accept your assistance!
On your above question, not only should you never say anything to her about how you feel, or your desire for reconciliation, but you need to get to a place yourself where those things are not even on your mind. I think it's Cadet that says to stick in a box and put it on the top shelf of your closet. Your W doesn't care about how you feel about her or anything else. Maybe she will again some day, but not now and not anytime soon.
Quote:
I would like to have a face-to-face, honest and unguarded conversation with her about our M.
The reason Sandi's rules say not to do this is because it never, ever goes the LBS's way. All LBS's want this, they want to talk sense into the WAS, talk them down from the ledge, help them understand why their thinking is wrong, they want assurances from the WAS, etc. It just drives the WAS farther away and makes them more resolute than ever that D is the answer to their problems. All they can think of in these conversations is "yup, he's the same old controlling, manipulative jerk he always was, all he cares about his getting his way."
Quote:
If anything, she is the one who has been rigid and inflexible since BD.
Of course, this is SOP for a WAS.
Quote:
I'm not sure where to go from here, I have not heard back from her yet.
