I'd stop asking her to define emotional connection -- you are just reinforcing her belief that she's not satisfied. Your actions should ideally say "I'm a kick ass husband. If you have a complaint I will listen and discuss it, but otherwise I'm confident with what I bring to the table"

If you are a kick ass husband to the best of your ability and she doesn't appreciate it, that is her failing, not yours, and you can't own fixing that.

If she has a complaint or request then address it. Otherwise just be the good man you are and avoid conversation that would betray that you question your value.

Married 18, Together 20, Now Divorced
M: 48, W: 50, D: 18, S: 16, D: 12
Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 7/13/11
Start Reconcile: 8/15/11
Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 5/1/2014 (Divorced)
In a New Relationship: 3/2015