Raine, You are doing great and your situation is coming along at a very slow pace and that's the way you want it, i.e., nice and slow. He has to fix himself and you, unfortunately, have to step aside and allow him to do so. Your situation reminds me of HRM's situation. You might want to read up on her postings to see just how frustrating and slow her process was.
Try to keep the focus on you and your children. Your h is growing up, but he needs to learn how to fix himself and better understand himself. Time, space and patience are what you will need, but I do think that things will work out in the end for you and your family if you can just hold on.
Take care.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
