Is there's anything left of everything we had...

[chasingpavements]

((((Hugs)))). Thinking of you NQ, and hope you are feeling well.

[TryingToDo180]

Hi MP, I still have a lot to learn as well. I'll try and pop by your thread later. It took a lot for me to open up on a forum of any sort but I wish I'd done it sooner than I did.

My H hasn't "thought that far ahead" in his words regarding D but the separation agreement was signed today. I haven't closed the door yet but I'm not making promises to anyone as to how long it will stay open. The man I'm married to right now (or should I say separated from) is not the same man I married in 1997. Once in a while I get a glimpse of that man so I know he's still in there but right now he's not able to get out.

NQ, I feel the same about my H. Sometimes I see glimpses of the old H and I feel he's still in there somewhere We're here for each other

[Not Quitting]

((((Hugs)))). Thinking of you NQ, and hope you are feeling well.

Thanks CP. Feeling much better today – but then it is almost the weekend LOL.

NQ, I feel the same about my H. Sometimes I see glimpses of the old H and I feel he's still in there somewhere We're here for each other

Thanks as always TTD for your support.

The hardest thing at the moment is watching S13 struggling. The first assignment he got from school was a family history study – he’s got to give info on his parents’ jobs, why the family moved to Canada (however far back in history that happened), etc, and come up with a family crest. Of course, with what’s going on with his dad not living with us anymore he’s getting a bit emotional about the whole thing. I have notified the school that the separation is fairly recent and that S13 is still struggling to come to terms with it. He was doing so well before school started – think it’s just this assignment that’s making it a bit tough right now.

And his dad is going to make it tougher on Sunday when he has his “man to man” talk and tells S13 that he isn’t going to be moving back home. I just hope he takes it okay otherwise I could end up at the school again next week to let them know to be prepared for some emotional issues with him.

[TryingToDo180]

Sorry to hear about what your S is going through It is hard for our kids. I expect the school will be more sympathetic.
You could make your H's meeting with S13 with a more positive slant. Tell your S that he should ask his dad about the family history and family crest. Just a thought

[Not Quitting]

Sorry to hear about what your S is going through It is hard for our kids. I expect the school will be more sympathetic.
You could make your H's meeting with S13 with a more positive slant. Tell your S that he should ask his dad about the family history and family crest. Just a thought

S13 actually has to interview his parents so your idea is going to happen. He's going to interview me tomorrow morning and his dad on Sunday when he comes to visit.

The school have been pretty good so far. His home room teacher has updated the guidance counsellor so they are both prepared for S13 needing some quiet time away from class or time to talk with someone outside the family about his feelings. He's actually pretty good at talking to me about them as well but not so much with H. The home room teacher apologized to me saying that its just a routine assignment they use as a way of getting to know their students better. I've reassured her that I don't have a problem with it.

He's got all weekend ahead of him and I'll make sure we have plenty of quality mom & son time. My sisters are both coming over tomorrow afternoon or evening, along with my youngest nephew, and S13 is looking forward to seeing them. Neither of them live locally so we haven't seen either of them for a few months. Mini family reunion, and none of the Hs or SOs are going to be there either.

[TryingToDo180]

That sounds great Enjoy your weekend I'm going to our nearest city tomorrow for a service in the cathedral. We're going early so we can have a look around the shops and have some lunch before we go to the service. My S has planned the day for us, lol.

[MileHigh]

Hey, NQ. As promised, reading back through your posts, what pops out for me? Special Constable - you must have watched The Thin Blue Line!

Seriously, though, I think you have the right attitude and focus for a tough situation. You know what to say (and not say!) when people inquire. You know to focus your energy on yourself and your son.

Keep it, up, pace yourself for the marathon. Most importantly, stay true to yourself and keep discovering more about you by using this process and this time. I never thought any good would really come of my situation, but I'm starting to enjoy being able to put myself first for a change. And for some much needed changes!

[TryingToDo180]

Don't you think MH is good NQ? He has such a positive attitude

[chasingpavements]

MileHigh is 100% right NQ, you do have a lot of strength and focus for the situation you are in. You are doing great, focusing on yourself and your son and making some great positive changes!! Keep it up!

[MileHigh]

Thanks for the kind words TDD. I hope to be able to keep the attitude up. I lived too long down in the dumps, thinking there was no hope for my problems.

I was looking at the big problems and not focusing on the little things I can change. The little things are what give us the boost to tackle those big things. And guess what? The big things are all made up of a bunch of little things! One at a time...