First of all, she is confused. At this point, I wouldn't believe half of what she says, whether positive or negative. I forget the saying on here, but its something like: "believe only half of what they say or do"
I think most of us on here have thought that our spouses would never lie or deceive, yet it's happened to 99% of us here.
What's even more alarming to me is the gall of her leaving the kids alone with these folks frequently, sometimes without even telling them. That's terribly confusing and damaging to the kids, not to mention downright rude to the hosts.
I tend to take a hardline knowing now that it worked for me, so that this with a grain of salt. Here goes:
At this point, you really need to focus on YOU. Quit worrying about her. Focus on your life, make yourself happy. Get involved in activities, be with friends, enrich yourself by reading books about relationships. Learn more about you. You are the only one responsible for your happiness. Don't rush off the moment she calls or texts. Don't be so quick to respond if she reaches out to the you. The loudest messages are no messages at all - or at least delayed responses. Be mysterious. Be happy.
I'm not saying rush off and dissolve this marriage, it sounds like you have adequate protection in place now with the TRO.
I half-heartedly tried to DB for over 10 months. It was only when I had enough and became hardline, and really put an effort into no more contacting, that things really turned around for my marriage. My wife even confessed to me that she totally flipped out when she knew she couldn't yank my chain anymore and realized I was done.
You've been here before, so you know the drill.
Oh, don't forget to read Sandi's list.
I am posting the link again for you. Read them. Memorize them. Be them!
Me: 43 W: 37 Together: 18 M: 15 D: 8 yrs old ILYBNILWY: March 2011 She Filed for D: August 2011 She moved out: Sept 1, 2011 Reconciled: May 2012 Divorce Case dropped: July 2012
