I just want you to know that I am still here! I read, feel and understand your hurt and doubts!
Even though I would love to give you some advice I can’t! I hope that Bond or another VET will help you. My experience and knowledge simply doesn’t cover this - theirs do, so go with them and most important yourself!
Only thing I have for you is read the book I just posted about in my own thread!
You are in my thoughts and prayers!
All the best!
F
Me:44 W:43 D7, D5 (S11 from other R)
T: 8y - not M ILYB: 8. Mar 2013 W moved: 1. Aug 2013 LRT: 20. Aug 2013 _______________________________ Do or do not – there’s no try.
No contact from her family (they don't contact). Mutual friends are not getting involved, but simply say she comes across as happy. Basically while in the country (for our work) she simply lives, eats, does everything with this friend. She doesn't seem to do anything by herself. School holiday time, when as a family we all visited the city (where the rest of family is), we would leave on the first day of holidays and come back on the last day of holidays. The wife would also look so forward to it, letting everyone of the family know, we will be there in 4 weeks, 3 weeks etc. Know she doesn't even tell our boys, if and when she is coming. If she does come to the city, it is for a shorter time. She stays with the SIL when she does, but it was mentioned that the W spent more time texting and talking on the phone to the friend than anything else. That was last time, when the friend wasn't there. The holidays before, the friend was with her and they spent each day doing their own thing. So at this stage in answering your question Mr Bond, I haven't heard anything about her since the last meeting we had, about 6 weeks ago.
ME:51 W:46 M:25 S:22, S:20 Divorced 16/9/15 BD 10/12 W left 12/12 with OW, affair confirmed Nov/12. Dark since 6/13 I"m in a new relationship since Feb 14.
Thanks F. Whether it is simply just a bad day or whether it is now a culmination of everything. Who knows. What I do know is nothing is improving, even though I am trying hard.
ME:51 W:46 M:25 S:22, S:20 Divorced 16/9/15 BD 10/12 W left 12/12 with OW, affair confirmed Nov/12. Dark since 6/13 I"m in a new relationship since Feb 14.
Went down the shops today, see the W's car there. It ends up the friend comes out of the shops (didn't see me) and gets in the car and drives away. So now the friend is driving the car, without the W being there. Another thing to ponder, as the car is in both of our names, not just the W's. Insurance is also in both our names.
ME:51 W:46 M:25 S:22, S:20 Divorced 16/9/15 BD 10/12 W left 12/12 with OW, affair confirmed Nov/12. Dark since 6/13 I"m in a new relationship since Feb 14.
Oops sorry this got put into the wrong thread, lol. Sorry to confuse you
H47 me48 T22 M21 S20 - Got high functioning autism 3/2000 H admits to OW and moves out to live with her 11/2000 H moves back home 2/4/13 H moves out H tells me he wants D 6/13, but now he can't afford to!
I just want you to know that I am still here! I read, feel and understand your hurt and doubts!
Even though I would love to give you some advice I can’t! I hope that Bond or another VET will help you. My experience and knowledge simply doesn’t cover this - theirs do, so go with them and most important yourself!
Only thing I have for you is read the book I just posted about in my own thread!
You are in my thoughts and prayers!
All the best!
F
Hi F, I've just been to your thread but couldn't find the book you recommended. Can you tell me what it is or put a link up here please I'm always interested in reading self help books, I devour them
H47 me48 T22 M21 S20 - Got high functioning autism 3/2000 H admits to OW and moves out to live with her 11/2000 H moves back home 2/4/13 H moves out H tells me he wants D 6/13, but now he can't afford to!
Hi HWA, sorry to hear that you are feeling this way I get like that at times as well, thinking that am I doing the right thing by NC and 180ing. MrBond is right when he says to talk to her about it, but it's whether you feel ready in case you get a negative response from her. I think with me I sorta know that my H doesn't want to get back with me anytime soon, but like you I hold a bit of hope that he may return one day We all still need to GAL for our health and have a PMA (again for our health), but as for the rest of it then it's up to you. I can't advise you on this as I'm not that experienced in other people's sitches, I can only give you support and encouragement Hope to hear your updates soon, I'm really interested in what the vets are saying about this
H47 me48 T22 M21 S20 - Got high functioning autism 3/2000 H admits to OW and moves out to live with her 11/2000 H moves back home 2/4/13 H moves out H tells me he wants D 6/13, but now he can't afford to!
I did think about the car and the friend driving it, last night. And am using the 48 hour rule. In all honesty, there is nothing i can say or do about the driving of the car. While I am mindreading and thinking it is another step of how comfortable these two (W and friend) seem to be living together. It also can be a situation that anyone can lend a car to someone else to drive. It may have happened once or a hundred times. The only time it would be an issue, is if in an accident, this could also affect my insurance rating. Again though, it would be exactly the same as if I lent my car to a friend/relative as well.
Quote:
Then talk to her about it. Get all of those things done.
Mr Bond, can you confirm what I am/should talk to her about? Was this the car? Or simply everything else I wrote? As in change what isn't working (going dark)?
Thanks again TTD180 for your support.
ME:51 W:46 M:25 S:22, S:20 Divorced 16/9/15 BD 10/12 W left 12/12 with OW, affair confirmed Nov/12. Dark since 6/13 I"m in a new relationship since Feb 14.
I get like that at times as well, thinking that am I doing the right thing by NC and 180ing. MrBond is right when he says to talk to her about it, but it's whether you feel ready in case you get a negative response from her. I think with me I sorta know that my H doesn't want to get back with me anytime soon, but like you I hold a bit of hope that he may return one day