Because my W was my closest friend. She knows me more intimately than anyone else. And she has completely rejected me. It makes me feel worthless and undesireable. My M is very important to me and I failed at it. I feel like a failure. I try to keep these feelings (rejection and failure) private. But, when they are publically flaunted, I feel shame.
I have been told that the shame should be hers. Intellectually I realize this, but emotionally, I have trouble controlling these feelings.
