FLS, I have a lot of similarities with you. My husband and I have been together since we were young and have a lot of similar problems as you. My husband thinks I am mostly at fault for our marriage problems. Which I agree to somewhat but it takes 2! He also continues to be the victim. I took my husband for granted as well and didn't treat him well over the last year. His complaint is that I didn't show him love or do the little things for him anymore and he thought we were more like roommates.
I am with you with it being hard as heck to detach when they give you hope. My husband is also very hot and cold. I just keep telling myself to be patient!
I also don't want to be his plan B and be around when he wants me to be. That's why GALing is so important.
I'm going to continue to follow your thread, and wishing you the best! Keep GALing and stop pursuing behavior. I had to do this and I started to see a change and my husband started initiating. Try it for a while and see what happens, he'll wonder why you stopped texting/calling like the castle analogy above.
