I need some legal advice/ experiences I guess? (Also a bit of a personal rant, scroll to the last paragraph if you want to skip that :))
So I've been looking for jobs like mad for the last two weeks or so (since I've got back from my grandma's house), and the job market is rough, even in LA. I've even been applying to jobs that have been below my ideal income. Money is money. I'm either over or under qualified. I've sent out about 50 resumes in this short time period with only one type of job offer, sales marketing ...caller. I've took up a job doing that right before college, and I can say that I'm by no means a salesperson, the hate that is spewed back really turns down a person's soul, and it's commissioned based almost always. I rather work at McDonalds, which at this point may not even hire me. It's been two weeks, and while many will say don't be discouraged, my lovely H has threw a curve ball my way to add to the stress pool.
He texted me a few days ago that since I allegedly am in a game against him to stay in our apartment, that he is no longer paying rent as of next month. (He's only paid once since I've came back). I texted him back and told him this is not about playing a game, I don't have the financial means to move anywhere else, I'm not moving back in with my parents two hours away because I would have to drive two hours to get to school everyday, and I would gladly show him the resumes I've sent out if he believed I was twiddling on my thumbs all day watching soap operas. Not to mention I've spent most of my time in lab at school trying to get some things to work so I can generate some grant money. The money they pay me at school is not enough for rent for one month in our current apartment, nor would it be enough for a security deposit in a cheaper one. He then goes on this tidbit about how he regrets allowing the marriage to be unequal in the beginning, and that it was a factor in our separation...hold the phone! I was going to school when we met, paying my own tuition, and paying my own loans (still am). When we got married all my scholarships dropped because of my new income threshold due to being married. He even went on about how I should stay at home and take care of any children we might have, and that his job paid a good enough sum. When we were first married he was making $80k as a single guy living at home, now he makes more and he's still under the impression we're broke. We do have a [censored] ton of debt because he went off buying new sport cars and crashing them, buying ex-gfs nice jewelry, etc, proir to our marriage, but he's comparing himself to his parents who are even further well off. That was enough money to feed my family of five that I grew up with, so I'm not sure where he gets this us being broke, and he has no money for rent. Ever since we separated, he is broke, or so he claims to be. And it was always discussed I would finish my education, and the only qualm he has ever mentioned about it is my PhD, as it is 5-7 years long and I might not have time to raise a family. (I agreed with him on this point and told him we would see where we are when that time comes). I even carried a full-time job prior to marriage and he told me that I should quit it and focus on getting better grades in school... so I did. And, yes, I did get better grades as a result. But he's the one bringing it up to begin with. Anyway...sorry to rant. Getting back on track.. So I looked up legal options. Some suggested based on my amateur search on the webs, that a legal separation would make him assist in spousal support temporarily. I don't know how true that is in California. I mentioned it to him and he said that he didn't think a separation would be helpful to either of us. (I don't know if he's saying that because he doesn't want one, or he's worrying about his citizenship status based on our good faith marriage). He finally agreed to see a mediator, and consider legal separation if it might help me apply for some aid at school, or somewhere until I can find a job. Holy crap I have almost nothing in my name but my car. I might have to sleep in my lab. So I'm really not trying to screw him over or take his money. I always prided myself in trying to be independent. My parents forced me to pay $500/rent a month while I was going to school full time and working a 40/50 hour a week job. I think this partly led to my deteriorating mental health because I was putting on way too much, but that's another story. I never got a great amount of additional help until I was married. So I want to do what is best for me at this point. Spouses out there who have been in a similar situation I would like to know what's the next step...what's going on with him and what do others suggest I do?
