Help needed

[seventeen]

Thank you all for the advice! Cadet, I will get busy reading my homework today.

I finished DB yesterday and found a lot there to work with--I took pages of notes. I'm reading DR now, and have stopped at the MLC section (which seems very pertinent)--am reading that over and over again.

I am working on myself, trying new things, getting back to old favorite things, and meanwhile trying to let him go through this process at his own pace without pressuring him or trying to control him. My love for him is still strong, and I am trying to keep hope going, even though things look SO bad.

kml, the OW actually texted me after meeting the kids this week and asked me to have lunch or coffee with her. When I declined, she said she just wanted to tell me she's not trying to take my place, that my kids are great, and that I'm a good mother. I guess that's good, but it was VERY strange. It made me feel just the opposite: that she IS trying to take my place. Why would she say such things, otherwise? I have friends. I don't need another one, and especially not her. Her efforts felt manipulative, so I didn't take the bait. But I still gave her too much of my mental energy.

And uRworthy, this is golden: "But if you give her headspace, she gets the power. Take the power back." I've can see now that I've given her far too much space inside my head. I am taking that back.