What the...?

[lovethehub]

Bug,

Yes, I am sure I will be kicking myself. Wondering what I have committed myself to!

Why nursing?

When I realized H and I were truly done last winter/spring, I knew I needed a career I could support myself and 2 children on. I started thinking about what I would do with my future and what fields actually had jobs that paid money, that I was interested in. I have a S with a birth defect that requires constant medical appointments, multiple surgeries, etc. and I know that when I am taking care of him, in the hospital, helping other families in this situation, etc. that I feel most alive. I love being there to help others and, oddly enough, feel really comfortable in the hospital. I have spent many nights on a hospital couch listening to nurses and watching them work and thinking "I wish I had done that when I was younger". Well, I have at least 20 years left to work and I finally realized it didn't matter if I had done it when I was younger, i could do it now! I am also very interested in alternative medicine, reiki, energy healing, homeopathic medicine, etc. Two of our major hospitals have energy healers on staff but they require you be an RN first. So I am starting on my journey to a future that will be about helping others, not just making money and that makes me happy. For years I have felt like I wanted to make a difference in more than just my children's life and wasn't sure how.

[Mimi00]

Love your outlook LTH.
I'm still trying to find what makes me "feel most alive".
What you said makes me note to be more aware of how I'm feeling in at various moments and maybe I'll find it
All the best to you w/ everything!

[labug]

Then you've made that decision for the reasons that count and will help make you successful.

I wish you all the best.

[chl0901]

Those are awesome reasons and it's so cool you are going to do something you are passionate about!

[lovethehub]

Thanks for posting because I am a believer in God and the Universe and wonder if I ever stop to listen to their message. Today my Keurig quit working, ironically enough when I decided to clean it so it wouldn't quit. It is an expensive coffee pot so I figured I would ignore this turn of events and I went downstairs to do laundry - and the washer door broke so I am no longer able to use my front load I started feeling like the universe was trying to give me a message to get a job and not go to school. (For those of you who aren't aware/follow the Secret, I know I sound insane) I was very upset thinking I had made this decision rashly and didn't really think about the consequences on my family. I texted H to call me when he had a chance and when he did I presented my "case" for the 'universe' trying to tell me I was making a bad choice. H was very supportive, gave me suggestions on how to fix this w/o a lot of expense and told me to quit worrying. When everything worked out as H said it would, I felt it was a test.

It is very nerve-wracking to know that I am knowingly leaving our family short on $$ for a year and it worries me. Our children need clothes, xmas (S is young enough to believe), and fun - am I depriving them? Is it worth it?

We can't fix the washing machine..how does that play out? Etc..

[chl0901]

Hi lovethehub,

I haven't read "The Secret," but am a little bit familiar with the message. I don't think you should take those things as signs about your career choice necessarily. If the items are unable to be fixed, maybe you can either find secondhand or refurbished items to replace them or most big box stores have deals on dented or "unpretty" items. I know Bed, Bath, and Beyond carries Keurigs and you could use a 20% off coupon on that to save a little bit on it.

If you are making this decision to go back to school to benefit yourself and your family in the future, then I would still say go for it - it will pay off!

As far as Christmas goes, you could maybe do one gift per person to save or get crafty and make some great gifts for people (hello, Pinterest!). Good luck!

[lovethehub]

Thanks chl, I think I was letting fear of something new rule my emotions!

On the M front, things are going very well and seem to be improving every day. H has been sending me little text messages every morning (so I get them on my first break at school) telling me how proud he is of me, how much he loves me, have a great day, etc. When we have moments where we get annoyed about something, we are 100 times better at dropping it for the moment and then talking about it in a way that doesn't cause problems and then it is over. Even better, on the rare occasion that we handled problems this way in the past, it would be hours (or days) before we could discuss it calmly no matter how small of an issue. Now, we can talk within a few minutes, see each others perspectives much better and laugh/joke about it.

School is going to be tough and time consuming and is the only thing I could foresee causing an issue this year - not outright but just in lack of time together which has been a big issue over the years. Instead of ignoring this, I talked to h about it the other day. We plan coffee/time together where we talk first and then he quizzes me on my work so we can accomplish two things. We even picked 4 days a week where we will have sex whether we want to or not (haha). This was my idea because I am falling asleep almost as soon as I get into bed where before I would be awake for an hour or two. Stole the idea from some R book I read at some point, so far it's great!

I really believe we are making positive changes in our relationship and we both continue to make positive changes within. I should probably start a new thread in piecing...don't feel like I have too much to say about our M right now though so the little time I have on here, I like keeping up with other peoples progress!

[planet]

hmm... it thought piecing was twice harder than getting your spouse back. I probably read that somewhere in the forum.
It seems like your case is different. Much gentler, much easier, much smoother.
Best of luck!

[labug]

That sounds great, lth. You're being very proactive.

I saw an article about zero negativity and tho it sounds pie in the sky, it actually makes a lot of sense. When you have issues come up you leave judgment out and only speak when you can do it without negatives. That means you might remain silent a lot. It sounds like you're doing something similar.

[lovethehub]

Our 10th anniversary is Thursday. Last year, H and I had a great August/early September (coming off of another 2 month emotional separation after he saw me hug ex OM); the day before our anniversary I received a card in the mail from my mom and realized it was the next day so I said to him "tomorrow is our anniversary" and he said "big deal, we don't have anything to celebrate" I was crushed because I thought things were going well".

Yesterday H said to me "Our anniversary is Thursday, I don't want you to think I don't want to celebrate this year because I do, however, I think with your workload at school and our current lack of money, it would be better if we can just recognize it with something small and then plan to go away together in a few months". What a difference a year can make!