and thanks for your kind posts. Yes, doing my best is important to me. A salesman I once read about said he thought he had not done his best if he hadn't left his comfort zone every day, so perhaps that can be a useful metric. Reading in the porch upstairs was a start on this. Touching my W would be another step outside. It'd be good to create a list of such actions.
The deadline thing was an emotional reaction to yesterday's cold shoulder treatment. As there is still a good while until the 10th anniversary of W's leaving our bed, I suppose a deadline can wait.
Cunningham has a handy table around page 70 of what women find attractive in men. That is quite a list, though, so perhaps I should work on things W has criticized me for? She considers me weak, unsocial, unassertive, an Asperger's person, with no taste, and few or no friends - her perfect mate - haha -
Example: we are both working on windows in my office, she painting, me prepping. When she sees me wearing gloves, she says "only wimps wear gloves, why are you doing that?". I respond "to avoid beating up my hands". She says "ahh - you don't need em". I ignore her POV and continue prepping, with gloves.
Example: S19 is shaking his leg at the dinner table, something he rarely does. D15 says please stop, W says that is Asperger's, and gives me a significant look. I ignore her.
Example: I arrive at the airport in Sweden, returning from the US West Coast, so just had a long trip. W has nicely come to meet me. First thing W says is "where did you get that ugly shirt?". I ignore her, and conversation is difficult for a while.
What do you think? Work on removing the negatives she sees or Cunningham's list? Some of the points are the same.
Thanks,
Luke
M58, xW54 S22, D18 M 1984, D 2016 Living a new life.
