My oldest son insisted on joining me to go visit h. My h ended up taking us to dinner. I think he was looking for some lovin and was sorely surprised to see our son with me !
I tried to get son to stay but he wanted very badly to hang out with us. So we went had dinner thanked h then came home. My youngest was at home so staying with h was not an option.
Our son talked and talked so there was no convo between h and I the entire dinner. Seemed to be a pointless meeting .
It seemed to be nothing more than a booty call. Oh well h will have to sleep with his curve ball cause he didn't get any of this! which is probably for the best right now.
Ok, people...I'm on the high part of the roller coaster!
My h invited me to lunch today. Convo went like this:
Me: What's up? H: Nothing. Me: Cut the crap. This is date #2 apparently you have something to tell me. Is it going to upset me? Tell me now so I don't order food. H: No you won't get upset. Me: Ok what is it. H: I'm not going to file for the d. Me: So what does that mean? H: I didn't want the d in the first place and so I'm not going to file now. Me: So this is different how?> H: I don't want the d. Me: So what you are saying is you want your family back and you love us? H: Well I did say I didn't want the d. Me: So you does that mean you love us and want your family back? H: It's different now caus I'm not mad. Me: So next week when you are mad will you file? H: No I won't file. H: You need to do something different with your hair. Me: Don't change the subject. Why is it so hard for you to say those 3 words? You can talk dirty during sex but can't say ILY. Well this was an issue before...lets not make ILY an issue now. H: Why do you get hung up on that? Me: It's what I need from you...an ILY.
We quit to eat lunch. Talk about the food, his work, car insurance, the upcoming soccer game.
As we get ready to leave...convo goes:
Me: so I'm still waiting to hear ILY> H: laughs Me: No really. Tell me. Don't let us go back to what we had before. This issue needs not be one now. H: Ok, ILY. Me: Ok make a habit of saying ILY. ILY. Haven't stopped. H: Humph. Me: Don't act like you don't believe ILY. I'm going to take you at your word, believe what you say...you believe what I say. I'm going to be straight forward with you. Straight talk.
He talks a little about his plans to go to Ohio in June. Also that he will be returning to work on Saturday after the boys soccer game.
We leave for work.
So now what is the next move in this r? My MC says we need to go back to learn come communication skills. I'm not going to push...I think I should definitely wait on h to make the next move or to suggest the next move.
H made no mention of Florida.
I'm excited but extremely wary...you all know how this ride has been...way up then way down! I'm holding onto the bars for dear life right now!
Cindy, Awesome! Hugh step here! Your H NOW doesn't want a D either! WOO HOO! Wish my H would say ILY or I want to make it work, or I want to come home! Well, ok, I'll count my blessings everytime I open the mail box; no D procedings today!
Rebuild from the bottom up, it takes a long time and the first big step is out of the way; you're not getting a D!
Not sure what to tell ya on having to force an ILY out of him. Obviously not ideal, but you take what you can get right?
Either way, you've got what you wanted in terms of putting the D on hold, now you see where things go from there. Hopefully you stick to the basics we talk about over and over..
Hey! Thanks for the advice...you are right need to continue changing me so to celebrate I'm going to happy hour tonight! H didn't ask and I didn't tell
As for:
Quote: Not sure what to tell ya on having to force an ILY out of him. Obviously not ideal, but you take what you can get right?
The man has issues...he's got this same thing with other members of his family! I'm just going to encourage him to say it, be nice about it. I've got needs too...he wants his met. What's wrong with him meeting mine? It's not going to go back to what we had before. I won't be pushy but I will stand up for what I need.
You have an awesome weekend too! Have a beer for me too! I'll be toasting all my db'ing friends tonight with a whisky sour!!!
Cindy
Romans 8:31 What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us?
Cindy, My H is pretty ILY-phobic too. Says he doesn't really know what it means. Says he thinks it means something different to me and doesn't want to lead me on. I'm not sure, but I think he's getting to understand it better as he gets more practice. Do you think your H would read the Five Love Languages? --z
You held you head high and it's obvious his repect for you is coming back. Keep on DBing....you're honest with us and catch yourself to stay on track, that part is helpful for me, too. Congrats for this big step....NO FILING! I'm toasting to you tonight, too!
H called at 3pm. He wants to go ahead and get my video camera out of layaway ($185), bring my van to his place to work on, get our taxes sent off/work on taxes tonight, have us stay at his place tonight, drive us to the boys' soccer game tomorrow.
I told him I felt like this was way too fast doing all this stuff as a couple. But he said well make a list and we'll work on getting it done.
After he hung up, I continued to wonder if this was a ploy on his part to get me in the sack. But I quickly put that thought away as I realized that part of being faithful is to put my faith in action. If I believe h and I will remain married, then I need to act out my faith by doing married things with h (ie, making purchases together, letting him do work on our van, spending the night together, putting in our taxes as married, etc...).
so here I go doing what I believe! God is with me.
and was sorely surprised to see our son with me 
!
.
which is probably for the best right now.
