Help! I'm so hopeless and devastated...

[MrBond]

Have you read the DB or DR books?

[peaceSJ]

I felt so bad today.
Both me and my H works FT. Last week my H said he changed his work schedule from 8:30am to 5:30pm, so he can pick up the kids at daycare around 6pm. I dropped off the kids in the morning. I agreed. But during the past three days, he always left home 9am in the morning and pick up kids late. When they got home, it was already 6:45pm. Then the kids ate dinner, did homework, took shower... It was so late when the kids got to bed.

So this morning I asked him if he can pick up kids a little bit earlier as he promised before. He seemed got angry and replied in a very cold stone:"No, I cannot. The kids didn't complain anything. Why do you care so much about such 15 minutes?" I replied:" Not that I care about the 15 minutes, but I want them to be home a little bit earlier so they can do things not in a rush. Also you promised before that you can pick up the kids at 6pm."

When I talked him this morning, I used a very friendly tone. But still He got angry and cold. I don't understand why and I feel I cannot trust anything he promised. :-(
I feel I cannot trust anything he said now.

[peaceSJ]

Hi MrBond, I read DR but not DB. I tried not to initiate conversation with H except the things related to kids... So far I think I didn't handle it very well.

[MrBond]

"I feel I cannot trust anything he said now."

Unfortunately this is true. You are going to have to shoulder the weight for a bit. But you have to be strong about it.

[peaceSJ]

Thank you, Bond. could you please tell me what's the main difference between the book DR and DB? I haven't got time to read DB yet.

[MrBond]

DR is the most current book.

Stick with that one.

[TryingToDo180]

IHe seemed got angry and replied in a very cold stone:"No, I cannot. The kids didn't complain anything. Why do you care so much about such 15 minutes?" I replied:" Not that I care about the 15 minutes, but I want them to be home a little bit earlier so they can do things not in a rush. Also you promised before that you can pick up the kids at 6pm."

When I talked him this morning, I used a very friendly tone. But still He got angry and cold. I don't understand why and I feel I cannot trust anything he promised. :-(
I feel I cannot trust anything he said now.

This is typical WAS behaviour being cold towards you and angry. This will pass in time, keep on being friendly and pleasant towards him I read a quote somewhere that says "you can't shoot someone who hasn't got a gun!" and I repeat this quote to myself all the time
I think everyone on here has experiences the coldness from our spouses at some point. I know I have and it's not nice! (((((Hugs)))))

[peaceSJ]

Thakn you for your encouraged words, 180. I'll repeat this quote as well - "you can't shoot someone who hasn't got a gun!"

[peaceSJ]

I think I was doing good yesterday. I got more sleep last night
One thing which still bothers me a lot is that H texted a lot using his iphone. I guess he talked to the OW online. Everytime when he was texting or checking his messages, he stepped to the other room or he turned off the iphone's screen immediately if I was around. He completely closed me out. I know he needs space and time, and I didn't mean to spy on him, but still these behaviors hurt me a lot.

[TryingToDo180]

I think you need to set some boundaries peace. Ask him that if he wants a bit of privacy when he's taking calls on his Iphone, perhaps he could go into another room to take them. Use your own words in this Read the section on boundaries as I'm no good at this, lol.