Bug, sorry about your dog. I remember when we had to put our dog to sleep, it was so hard. He was like a family member too. It took us 1 year to get another dog.
I was just re-reading some of your older posts to catch up with your sitch. I don’t remember if your H had an OW. I also could not get it out of your recent posts, did your H just start communicate with you more oll of a sudden? I gather that you didn’t have any R talk, right?
M:50 H:52 S28 (my S from previous marriage) M:17 + 3 BD: 06/12 S: 06/12 - H works in another state
There is no OW, he was finished with R and still may be. Who knows?
After the first 6 months or so of separation, we haven't been contentious. Things were pretty dark communication wise most of the time but we've always been civil and mostly respectful.
As I became more OK with my life and me, actually more than OK, happy, I had a different attitude about him. I listen to comedy radio on long drives and hear jokes that I knew he would find funny, so I sent those to him a couple of times. Just the joke clip, no message. Then I needed to have a conversation with him about S20 and invited him out for coffee and we had a great time. We hadn't seen each other f2f for probably 2 months at that time, maybe more. It's hard to remember, in the 2.5 years we've been apart, I'll would guess we've seen each other less than once/month.
After that there was some flirty texting, then seeing each other then...
We haven't talked about the R(I'm not sure if you mean relationship or reconciliation)at all because at this point there is no relationship or at least not the one that existed before. Are we building a R? I don't know. As I said before, I'm very happy where I am but this is also fun and I'm happy to see where it leads.
It's like dating a new person, see what happens.
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss
Bug, thanks for the update. I meant R – relationship, and you answered the question. My sitch has some similarities, this is why I asked. It’s been 14 months since BD. We only communicate about business, mostly via e-mail. There were times when I didn’t hear from him for a couple of months. Last time when I saw him was in May, 3.5 months ago. There was no OW. He tried to start a flick, but it didn’t go anywhere. I’m not sure if there is any OW now.
I’m getting to the point when I am happy and OK too, and I’m also starting to have a different attitude about H.
I’m happy that you are in a good place and consider this potential “new” relationship with you H fun. I hope I will be where you are one day.
One more question. Did he ever brought a D subject?
M:50 H:52 S28 (my S from previous marriage) M:17 + 3 BD: 06/12 S: 06/12 - H works in another state
That's an interesting question, he has NEVER said the D word. Soo after bomb drop I was scared to death I was going to get D papers without warning, so I we talked and he said he wasn't even thinking of D.
We talked again about 6 months ago (complete temp check) and he wasn't interested in me, didn't think about me, didn't miss me, and would like to "get this settled." I told him fine, do it.
Nothing.
You just never know but I think the best thing you can do is let the WA get over whatever their hurt and pain without continually reminding them of why they left.
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss
My H originally didn’t want to do the official D, he said that it would be beneficial to stay married for financial reasons. He said it last October when we last had a relationship talk. He was MIL all fall and winter, letting me to take care of the bills and other stuff. He brought up a D subject in April and wanted to do the paperwork together. To which I told him to go ahead and do it on his own and send it to me, so I could sign it and pass it top my lawyer. I didn’t hear anything about D since.
I think he is not interested in me, I don’t know if he misses me, but I know he thinks about me. He sent me a fun video about the dogs a few days ago. This makes me believe that he thinks about me, at least once in a while (besides the business matters.)
Originally Posted By: labug
You just never know but I think the best thing you can do is let the WA get over whatever their hurt and pain without continually reminding them of why they left.
I completely agree with this. I pretty much left him alone. The only thing I still need to do is to stop discussing my sitch with our mutual friends, just like you advised me on my thread.
M:50 H:52 S28 (my S from previous marriage) M:17 + 3 BD: 06/12 S: 06/12 - H works in another state
