I think you know your w best. And I have said to you that I think you need to show her either in words or action that you are not going to wait forever for her to decide she wants a marriage with you.
I dont think it is unreasonable for you to want to do that.
Actually, I've done that 6-8 weeks ago when SHE initiated R talks, and SHE pressed me to explain where I was at regarding us. My words were that I would NOT go on like this forever, and that I didn't know how long I would... maybe 3 months, maybe 3 years.
So I guess I have at least a month to go.
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I think as with T2's wife, and many others, there are outward signs of turmoil, or behaviors that indicate turmoil to show some kind of movement within the MLCer. With your w, while I think there is a lot of inner turmoil, it does not show itself and so it is hard to see whether she is trying to work things out in her head. Not sure if that makes sense. LOL!
Yes it does make sense, and I did feel there was signs that she was working on things inside until a few weeks ago. Since then she's been doing extra super overtime at work, so the personal growth has taken a back seat to going out and having fun.
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And I also think that you should not protect her from her family and friends. Not as vindictiveness, but, because she needs to be responsible for her actions and the consequences that result from them.
I'd like to explore this thought. Michele (wisely, I feel) instructs us to keep the families out of all this. So I've always acted like all is fine around them... wouldn't want them to worry and stick their nose in. How would "she needs to be responsible for her actions and the consequences that result from them" fit in with this?
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There isnt anything wrong with you acting as if you really are moving forward with the thought that this marriage might not make it.
Change things up a bit. Have that mindset when you decide how to act. It is how you are feeling, so, it is real.
Agreed. I've already decided that my next ed2go course will be "Navigating Divorce". Gotta know how it all works don't ya know.
M: A really long time. Crisis: 5 years. She's still worth it.
Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose. -Viktor Frankl
