Hey FY, I agree with T2, there are plenty of women out there who would be thrilled to have someone like you in their lives.

And I think you and T2 should meet and have that date. Just sayin...- LOL!

I have been around for over 6 years. I have seen at least 7 MLC's in real life (incl. xh's) up close and personal. Three of them very close. It is true, there are those who havent reached bottom and made the turnaround.

The thing of it is this. While I totally understand your committment to your wife and your marriage and commend you for it, you matter, too.

I have told you many times that your wife is a strange one. Not that I havent seen a MLCer act like her, I have, but, I still cant quite figure her out.

Clearly, you are not done. Trust me when I say, when you are you know it without a single doubt.

I do know think, however, that your w doesnt haves any real motive to change or look within if she doesnt hit bottom. She likes her life and she is afraid of what friends and family might think.

But it has been quite some time and I dont see much movement on her part. Which would be fine if it wasnt affecting you more and more.

I think you know your w best. And I have said to you that I think you need to show her either in words or action that you are not going to wait forever for her to decide she wants a marriage with you.

I dont think it is unreasonable for you to want to do that.

I think as with T2's wife, and many others, there are outward signs of turmoil, or behaviors that indicate turmoil to show some kind of movement within the MLCer. With your w, while I think there is a lot of inner turmoil, it does not show itself and so it is hard to see whether she is trying to work things out in her head. Not sure if that makes sense. LOL!

Bottom line is, that you are getting frustrated and I get that. You want some kind of movement either way and I get that, too.

The thing is that you are not done. So you want to really think long and hard about what you want to say or do.

And I also think that you should not protect her from her family and friends. Not as vindictiveness, but, because she needs to be responsible for her actions and the consequences that result from them.

I agree with Raine and T2, that your w can feel you waiting. She can see that you arent going anywhere, so, why does she have to do anything different?

There isnt anything wrong with you acting as if you really are moving forward with the thought that this marriage might not make it.

Change things up a bit. Have that mindset when you decide how to act. It is how you are feeling, so, it is real.

And when you are ready to poke the bear, I know you will do it in your wonderful FY way. We will be here to support whatever you decide to say or do.