Thanks everyone, my process just shows how powerful our emotions are but that we can control our response.
Here's the tribute S24 wrote about our dog, my third son:
Today is a sad day.
Earlier this morning, our dog of a decade and a half was put to sleep. He had been having problems getting up after laying down among other things, so it wasn't a surprise, but it was still a blow.
To me, at least, Dog was not so much a pet as he was a brother: he, my brother, and I had more adventures together in the deserts of Southern Arizona and beyond than I can count, and I have so many great memories of our time together. He had plenty of moments when he was a pain, but I was proud to call him my dog.
He was a good friend, and was always there for me, and I hope that he would say the same of me were he able to. I wish I had spent more time with him, and been able to be there with him at the end, but I know he knew I love him. He had a long life (a decade and a half is a long time for a dog his size) filled with good times. I couldn't have asked for a better friend to grow up with, and his presence in the world is sorely missed.
Rest in peace, old buddy. You've earned it.
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss