Quote: Yes, I'd like to plead, beg, whine...I'm scared!! What will he do, I'm about 80% sure he's going to refile come tuesday..
Apparently, the WINNING Cindy must be away for the weekend, doing what CONFIDENT women in her shoes do: not worry about WHAT HE IS THINKING OR DOING BECAUSE SHE CANT CONTROL HIS FEELINGS OR ACTIONS; LEAVING HIM ALONE, CONVINCING HERSELF SHE'LL BE FINE NO MATTER WHAT HE DOES NEXT WEEK, PAMPERING HERSELF ON VALENTINES DAY IF HE WON'T...
The WINNING Cindy leaves no messages, sends no emails, she lets him make the first move, SHE LETS HIM WIN HER BACK, and she handles herself in the manner she did when he was paying more attention to her, that of course is..NO PRESSURE, NO PURSUING, ACTING HAPPY AND FUN AND SEXY AND STRONG, because thats what is ATTRACTIVE..Apologizing and convincing aren't attractive, it NEVER WORKS.
Your H isn't scared, he's not begging, pleading or whining, he's not leaving you voice mails asking you "not to reject this or that.." so why should you behave any differently?
I would not leave any message of any kind, unless you have the courage to tell him you're letting him go.., he's free to file if thats what makes him happy, you PREFER things work out, but you're not standing in the way of his happiness if he decides to leave, you understand, YOU JUST WANT HIM TO BE HAPPY...
Now, if you have the courage to say that, then of course he'll put down the defenses and think about what he really wants, rather than think of how he can get away because he is PRESSURED. I've always felt in your sitch that if you just simply LET GO, and LET HIM KNOW you've LET GO, you'd see him come around more. BUT you always seem to take two steps forward and then one HUGE step back, because you are SCARED OF LOSING HIM. And when you are in the DIVORCE BUSTING business, when you play not to lose rather than play to WIN, YOU WILL LOSE EVERY TIME. WINNING is LETTING GO, LOSING is HANGING ON. When you let go and DB, you probably will win him back if he likes you the RIGHT way. When you continually act out of frear and desperation because you are impatient, then of course, he will pull farther away from you, becuase its LEAVING is more ATTRACTIVE than a begging Cindy, 100% of the time. I know that sounds cold, but thats the Facts Jack!
Again, I'd do nothing, and enjoy your weekend, and let next week unfold as it will without you trying to influence anything. Love must be freely given, not coerced out of fear. Your H must be free to make his own choices, just like you have freely chosen to try and save your M...
