Step 1. I went 3 or 4 weeks with minimal communication. I cut everything very short and was businesslike. I ignored any communication from w that was unnecessary. I took this time to work on me and gal.
Step 2. I initiated simple friendly text messages with w. (if she does not respond then return to step 1 for a while). My first text was something like. "Heard (song) on radio, thought of you. Hope you're well." Another text was "went to (concert) on beach, reminded me of time we saw (another concert)."
After a few text every week w would initiate texts too. Soon we would have conversations by text. Just small talk. I would make sure I ended the conversations.
Step 3. I began including intimate memories in my texts. At one point w told me that she would always love me ... W began initiating contact. Wanting to meet at gym or get drinks or something. .. At one point w gave me the ilybnilwy speech, but I kept going. A while later w agreed to go to Las Vegas with me for a weekend. After she agreed to go to Vegas our contact decreased and she finally canceled two days before.
Now I am back to where we have contact by text, but w's enthusiasm seems to change daly. But at least I have contact. And we did have a good in person meeting 3 weeks ago.
Me-45 W-44 T-7 years M-3 years (4th anniversary July 13, but we're separated) Kids from previous relationships (s14 d16 mine, s23, s24 hers)
