Yes, I agree with her making the advances, and she is, finally. I know that she needs to feel like she can trust me, feel safe, , feel respected and loving by me, for her to open up. I am grateful that she is trying, but I won't let that steer me into my old self, I PROMISE. I will still grow to be leading these naturally.
Last night I got a text after my FIL's Bday dinner at her moms house stating that she had a good time with me. I replied in her same words that I agreed. Then this AM, she opened up and hugged me for the first time in 3 months. It is her 18th year as a teacher and she, and our kids, all started the first day of school today. I complimented her respectfully (hair and dress), and helped with the kids to get to school. My oldest daughter saw it her eyes lit up like the sunrise. I think W tried to hug me last night after dinner, but I think I made a sudden move that stopped her. I pretended like I didn't even realize what was happening.
tonight, She made dinner for all of us. I cannot wait as it has been 3 months since we ate as a family. We came to the agreement that we should still be separated (it has been 60 days t date and is what we initially agreed to with the counselor), but W wanted to still go a little slow. So I get 48 hours a week for now, at home, with W and kids. I will take it as a positive sign again.
Also, I couldn't break a long tradition. Each year I send flowers to W at her school. I almost didn't, as a lot of what I am reading states no gifts for the WAS. The card stated "Good luck with your 18th year, XYZ Grade School should be proud that you served them for so long". No "I love you, and the florist didn't put a signiture on it. So W had to ask me if I sent them. I had to laugh. But W thanked me for the beautiful spring flower setup and vase. I also complimented/admired her fpr staying with the same employer for so long and that this says a lot about your enjoyment for your job and the people that you work with. I am trying to make her realize that I do like the people that she works with. A while back I told her that I didn't like some of them, (some are divorsing and still iving with their spouces, but picking up guys everywhere they go). So I probably said some things I shouldn't have in the past.
"Do what you can With what you have Where you are" - Theo. Roosevelt
