Oh, Cindy. I feel for you. What a bummer! I agree with the others that if your H was acting, you would have known. Nobody can keep up appearances for that long.
I think it's interesting that your MC said that your H was only there to complain about you. In my first session with my H, our C gave H a stern talking to about his body language in communication. He was clearly not happy, but instead of taking issue with the C. He nodded and said, "Okay, but what are we going to do about HER behavior." Then he proceeded to paint me as some kind of monster. I'm not saying that he didn't have a few valid points about me, but I did notice that the timing was very interesting.
C has been gut wrenching to say the least. I've realized there are a few things that I need to change, that I'm not so sure I want to change. Your H may just need the time to really think about what it's worth to him.
I know that sinking feeling that your S is out there trying to muster the strength for a bombing. Let's hope that he's doing more thinking than that. Take care. --z
