Divorced-not done-But wondering ?

[Live4myDay]

JJ, thanks for the update. I was worried that my post got a little to personal and interrupted your post.

I never realized how many people have to go through this. If 50% of marriages end in D then at least half of those people are going through the same type of endings.

The goal to become a better vision of you when they fell in love in the beginning may be different now for them. 21 years later I think my X is looking for something that "he" always wanted to be. But in many ways I was like the person he is with now...only she has no kids no baggage that I know of and is free to do what ever wherever etc. Doesn't have the 21 years of history of ups/downs with each other and various elements that contribute such as kids, money, business, families, dying parents, handicap daughters, etc.

The best me is living my life as a happy, joyous, grateful, loving, God fearing, compassionate, open, honest me...so much more to me.

I don't think X will ever see that side of me again. I want to read the book "I do again" been to 2 different stores and neither had it. Have to order online. I do feel so hopeless when it comes to R especially with OW in picture.

I know I am the kind of wife only a fool would walk away from. I stepped up to the plate and am making a life for my D and I without him. He see's it all differently... I just want him to see the real me again not the contrived person he wants me to be to justify his leaving.

How do you get to the point of the better version without her even noticing or looking?