Been crying for 2 days straight. So sad that its really happening and despite all my efforts in changing for the better she still shows that she is moving forward with ending this relationship.
I'm right there with you, after over a year of DB'ing my W is pushing forward with the D papers. I've long since accepted my sitch though, so all my tears over this were shed a long time ago. D isn't the end of hope unless you choose it to be. People reconcile after D all the time.
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Feels like she is DB towards me. No contact with me, portrays that she is happy, she is confident & looks better then ever!
Looks can be deceiving. WAS's often mask what they're feeling inside, which is confusion, anger, pain, etc. They're letting those emotions run the show and control their actions.
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When does it suppose to get easier?
It differs for each person. Some can become quite happy in just months while others take a year or more to get there.
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last weekend was a really low, submarine low point in my life.. actually felt like ending my temporary problem permanently.
You're in what is referred to as "situational depression". Are you seeing an IC? If not then please consider one, and/ or discuss your depression with your PCP. I was in a deep, dark place too and when I was at the lowest I saw my doc and got on A/D's. That was a godsend for me, it enabled me to turn my life around.
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The loneliness and uncertainty of my current life is scaring me. Negative thoughts are filled in my head, like jealousy that things are working out for her. Why cant I bee happy if she seems happy?
I seriously doubt she's happy, like most WAS's she's just good at pretending. But regardless, your focus needs to be on fixing you.
