Newcomer's brief summary

[doubledown]

LTH:

Thanks for responding. In reading your response, I can see how you would want to keep one foot in each relationship. I can see how that can be comforting.

At this point, since my W has no idea that I'm aware or her A, I'm really focusing on being a loving father and kind husband. Lord knows, that was simply not the case for most of our marriage.

Now that my W has acknowledged that she has noticed my behavior as some "Father of the year and husband of the year" and she doesn't know how to take it or what to make of that person, I'm trying to keep doing what I've been doing. The hard part will be knowing that she is still seeing the OM and trying to keep that picture out of my head!

I suppose I'll have to convince my W that the changes she's seeing are not going to evaporate. I'm sure she's just waiting for me to drop the ball. I just can't let that happen. As long as I give her hope that it is possible for me to change, and convince her that I'm not going to relapse into the angry, critical, impatient and controlling husband that she has suffered with for years, I have a chance at saving our marriage.

I sure the kids are playing a role in her staying for the time being. I sure hope there is a tiny, tiny sliver of hope that our M can be improved. I'll keep working toward that and hopefully, that feeling is awakened.