What you need is to LIVE YOUR LIFE without thinking about whether or not he'll ever come back. I'm not saying it's not possible - it is - BUT it is MORE likely to happen once you have COMPLETELY moved on! So you really need to just LET GO and move on with your life - you always have the option to take him back in the future IF you want to at that time. You certainly don't want him back until he becomes a much better, less selfish person, and that's likely to take a whole lot of time.
I LOVE that you and your daughter are going to FPU. Check out mrmoneymustache too - my current favorite frugality blog. They say the best revenge is living well, wouldn't it be great a few years from now for you to be financially independent and ex still be in debt?
Once you start dating you might find, like I did, that you had gotten used to a certain level of disrespect from your H, and it's SOOOO much nicer with a man who values you and treats you right. (Even the Love Avoidant hermit-tending unavailable guys I dated when I was first divorced, treated me better than my ex.)
Now is the time for you to create the life you want to live. Quit worrying about the ex. You can do better than a man who would abandon you in the midst of a crisis like this. Seriously.
