There you go, you can do this, it just takes time and is sometimes difficult.

If you can't change your patterns now you could end up in a very similar R next time. Is that OK with you?

If is wasn't enough then you go to the next right thing to say.

Me 57/H 58
M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13

Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do.
I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering.
Caroline Myss